


Lay down my limbs

by mrsbrightside00



Category: The Bifrost Incident - The Mechanisms (Album)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst that turned comfort, Dissociation, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Nightmares, No Beta, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26125684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsbrightside00/pseuds/mrsbrightside00
Summary: Sometimes Loki has nightmares. And sometimes they affect more than anyone would want too. Written for MechsFemslashWeek2020. Prompt: Angst
Relationships: Loki/Sigyn (The Bifrost Incident)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 35
Collections: Mechanisms Femslash Week 2020





	Lay down my limbs

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone needs to know!  
> -First part is a bit of Loki's nightmare  
> -Brief, non-explicit mention of physical abuse  
> -PTSD
> 
> Be safe! Hope you like it :)

_ There’s screams… her screams and her tears… Odin’s screams... _

_ And there’s nonsense. Odin? Chatting, rambling about her train, her project. She asks questions, and she knows the answers. She doesn’t want to answer. Her head spins. The questions about  them … who are they… _

_ Everything hurts. The people they love, hurting too… and then there’s no one… no one they love and there’s no escape... _

_ Their screams..  _ **their** _ chant... _

She opens her eyes, there’s darkness, unknown. Unknown? She first distinguishes her breathing. Looks down at her...hands? At her hands. Trembling. She has a body, whoever she is. And then, as she (she?) gets used to the surroundings, she senses another presence. Another person, breathing, next to her. This startles her and, surprised, gasps loudly. Covers her mouth and moves away, feeling void at her back. Oh, she is on a mattress. 

The figure beneath moves. They are waking up, whoever they are. There are no shackles in her wrists and she fumbles out of the bed she was lying in with this person. The floor beneath her feet is cold and so is the air. The person props themselves up with their arms, slowly. She steps back. Her breath shakes and her whole body trembles. She stops walking away when her back hits a chair, almost making her fall. Then the person speaks. 

-Loki, are you okay?… Loki, it’s okay, you are safe- the voice says a bit hoarsely. It’s a nice voice, and the person to whom it belongs intends for it to be soft and welcoming. She tries to focus. This must be a trick to get her comfortable and take more from her-- even though she feels there’s nothing left. What else could Odin want from her? Odin is the only person she remembers now. If there was someone before, their names, their faces, are gone. The voice tries to soothe her again. -I’m going to turn on a light, okay? So you can see my face-. She sees them shift and move their arm and is suddenly terrified of what the sweet voice can do. Loki (if the voice is right), flinches, and wants to run but doesn’t. Screaming and running always make it worse. She closes her eyes as hard as she can. Flick. Through her eyelids, she knows a light has been turned on. -Trust me, Loki.I’m here, you can open your eyes-. She is shaking but does as the person says. She tries to make herself small and hugs her frame as the cold air in the room hits her body. 

It’s a dim light, warm, and Loki can now make out the silhouette that has been trying to comfort her. The person doesn’t move. - Don’t be scared, it’s me, Sigyn.-  _ Sigyn _ . She hesitates before she says the next thing, lower, like it’s a secret they both know - your wife-. _Wife?_ Does she have a wife? Loki stares. Sigyn is beautiful. And she sounds sure, sweet, and also sad. She sounds so very sad. Loki can see it in her eyes too. Tired. Loki doesn’t wanna look anymore and so she closes her eyes again, exhales. It’s not Odin. It’s not...them. She is safer than she thought she was. But still, she doesn’t know. Has she done something to this person? That look, hurt, she must have done something. 

-Look at me- Sigyn says, more a plead than a command. She looks up again and sees the woman extending her hand, slowly, making no sudden moves. -It was a nightmare, it’s done. You are safe here-. Loki’s heart is beating fast, her eyes moving between Sigyn’s and her extended hand. She looks down at her own hands again. Surely, there’s a silver ring in her finger she hadn’t noticed before.

Sigyn can’t help but stare at her. It’s not the first time this happens. Nor will it be the last. And every single time it breaks her heart. Sometimes Loki doesn’t wake up from her nightmare, so she holds her until the morning comes. Sometimes she not only wakes but screams, clouded view, jumps out of bed, and runs for the door. The first time that had happened Sigyn had found her on the kitchen floor, curled up, screaming. And Sigyn couldn’t reach for her. None of them knew how or when the next was gonna be. And so, they had agreed to lock their bedroom door at night, to prevent any accidents, try and stay safe. 

This time, Loki was looking at her and she was glad. They stared at each other for what felt like hours, until Loki stepped forward, wary of what Sigyn’s hand did. Her eyes were unsure, but there was a soft spot of lucidness creeping in. Sigyn reminded herself not to move, let her trust at her own pace. She reached the bed, cautiously sitting on the edge and taking Sigyn’s hand into both of hers. Loki clutches them and looks back up again. Her voice is hoarse as well when she finally speaks. -Don’t be sad- she says. Sigyn feels her eyes filling with tears. It’s the voice Loki uses when she doesn’t recognize her. She wants nothing more than to launch herself forward and hold her beloved close, where no one can harm her, where she is calm and warm. Wants to whisper sweet nothings into her ear and kiss her temple. But she can’t, she has to wait to be recognized. She knows this and it hurts every time. So she holds onto the touch of Loki’s hands and now it’s she who closes her eyes, feeling the tears roll down her cheeks. 

-Don’t - the clouds in Loki’s mind slowly dissipate, she feels it - don’t cry- she whispers. _ Don’t cry, don’t cry.  _ Loki lets go of Sigyn’s hand and doesn’t back away. Instead, she opens her arms and now Sigyn is being held. Loki has her close, and the clouded part of her doesn’t know why is she hugging this crying woman.  _ No, she is not just a woman, _ she tells herself.  _ Sigyn is my wife. Sigyn, who is the bravest warrior of them all. Sigyn, who rescued me, and doesn’t stop rescuing me. Every. Day.  _ And so, she holds tight.  __ She feels her wife’s arms hugging back, hears her trying to choke down her sobs. -It’s me, love. I’m okay- Loki murmurs with her head buried in Sigyn’s hair. 

There’s something desperate in the way Sigyn holds her, like maybe if she doesn’t let go of Loki’s body she is not letting go of her mind too. It doesn’t usually goes this way. This was easy. Sometimes it takes more convincing, sometimes Loki never recognizes Sigyn, until she falls asleep and wakes again. Loki feels guilty to make her go through this, apologizes every time she comes back. Sigyn always tells her to stop apologizing, always with a look full of love and nothing else. 

But tonight she couldn’t. Loki now remembers it had been a particularly hard day and both of them had barely gotten any sleep the night before. Loki feels it in her body too. She understands because even though Sigynis crying, it’s not a complaint nor a reproach. It’s hurt, and thankfulness she’s here again. Sigyn has already been so brave for them both. So Loki makes them lay down in their bed and talks to her. Softly, lovingly, the only way she feels her wife has to be talked to in the intimacy of their embrace. She thanks her and rubs her so they can be warm again. She is tired, but talking a few words won’t hurt. 

Loki feels her mind drifting away, but only filled with herself and the one she loves. They hold each other until Sigyn’s tears stop running until both their hearts are tired of hurting and sleep again. 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic based on stuff, but if some of it you think is wrong please let me know!
> 
> Thank you for reading!! Let me know if you liked this because I might have gotten carried away and half-written more Loki/Sigyn stuff.


End file.
